Post by Justin Miller on Oct 4, 2010 7:34:10 GMT -5
Welcome one and all to the end of life as we know it!
Zombies have begun outnumbering us all... but you, you're one of the lucky ones. You are still alive! Congratulations on surviving this long, but getting by on just pure luck isn't going to last long. You're going to need to know how to kill these things if you want to continue to live any long. First, let's go over the one basic thing you need to know:
1. Shoot it in the head!
Shooting a zombie in the arm, torso, legs or any other body part that's not attached to the neck is only going to piss it off even more. The one true, sure fire way to put one down is to shoot it in the head or bash it's skull open with some type of blunt object.
Yeah, don't even try shooting it in the heart. Yeah.. that may put it down for a second but it's going to pop right back up and eat your heart if you don't shoot it in the head.
Also, it doesn't really matter how much you shoot the thing in the body because until you bash it's head in or blow it off, it's just going to keep coming.
See, the brain is what keeps the zombie going. While everything else is decomposing and slowly rotting away, the virus keeps the brain alive and gives it a one track mind.... to eat you. Plus, the zombies are already dead, so it doesn't really have much use for anything else. So yeah, you can also rule out decapitation. Chopping a zombie's head off may slow it down completely, but then you've created an ankle biting head that some poor sap is going to get bit by.
So, now you know the one sure fire way to kill a zombie; destroy it's brain
Now that you understand how to put a zombie down, let's go over the tools of the trade;
1. Guns
For you newbie zombie killers out there, guns are by far the most effective way to drop one of these suckers. One single shot to the head is going to put an end to any of them. So, in the zombie apocalypse, guns are going to be your best friend.
But... do remember that this is the zombie apocalypse and after while, if you happen to survive long enough, your ammo supply is going to be nil and quickly if you use your gun(s) on a constant basis.
But there are weapons, however, that have a much long shelf-life than pistols and shotguns. And those are....
2. Blunt Objects
Baseball bats, golf clubs, frying pans, electric guitars. Anything that's solid and as a fair amount of weight to it could be used to bust a zombie's dome wide open.
Now, over time, certain types of these weapons will give out. Like a wooden baseball bat or the before mentioned electric guitar. So something made out of metal is much more preferable. Like a cast iron frying pan or a metal baseball bat or a machete or something to that effect. Of course, these should only be used as a last measure instead of your primary weapon. Because, well, let's face it... you are no Justin Miller.
Speaking of machete's, that gives me a nice little bridge to the next type of weapons we are going to discuss....
3. Knives
Most knives, like a butcher knife or a hunting knife, won't provide you much help against a zombie seeing as how you have to get up close and personal with your zombie corpse to end his life. But knives are always handy to keep around.
However, if you are lucky enough to find a machete or a sword, hold onto it! These can be swung with both hands and allow you some kind of safe distance between you and the zombie that wishes to turn you into a manwhich.
So knives, while awesome indeed, should only be used for the cases when you have a zombie right on top of you.
Of course, anything could be used as a weapon. Those that don't really fit into the three above categories fall under this one....
4. Other Crap a.k.a Miscellaneous Weapons
The chainsaw in your garage, the toaster on your counter or the stapler in your desk. Anything that can cause physical damage to you can cause physical damage to a zombie and should be highly considered if you can't find a gun or a blunt object.
Usually, these are gonna be normal household appliances and stuff that is lying about in and around your house. And if you happen to find yourself attacked by a zombie, these are gonna be what you grab at first.
Now, class, our first lesson has come to an end and I don't expect many of you back. With hordes of zombies marching about, I wouldn't be surprised if I just teaching myself next time. But if some of you do make it, I'll teach you how to get rid of mass hordes of zombies.
CLASS DISMISSED!
Zombies have begun outnumbering us all... but you, you're one of the lucky ones. You are still alive! Congratulations on surviving this long, but getting by on just pure luck isn't going to last long. You're going to need to know how to kill these things if you want to continue to live any long. First, let's go over the one basic thing you need to know:
1. Shoot it in the head!
Shooting a zombie in the arm, torso, legs or any other body part that's not attached to the neck is only going to piss it off even more. The one true, sure fire way to put one down is to shoot it in the head or bash it's skull open with some type of blunt object.
Yeah, don't even try shooting it in the heart. Yeah.. that may put it down for a second but it's going to pop right back up and eat your heart if you don't shoot it in the head.
Also, it doesn't really matter how much you shoot the thing in the body because until you bash it's head in or blow it off, it's just going to keep coming.
See, the brain is what keeps the zombie going. While everything else is decomposing and slowly rotting away, the virus keeps the brain alive and gives it a one track mind.... to eat you. Plus, the zombies are already dead, so it doesn't really have much use for anything else. So yeah, you can also rule out decapitation. Chopping a zombie's head off may slow it down completely, but then you've created an ankle biting head that some poor sap is going to get bit by.
So, now you know the one sure fire way to kill a zombie; destroy it's brain
Now that you understand how to put a zombie down, let's go over the tools of the trade;
1. Guns
For you newbie zombie killers out there, guns are by far the most effective way to drop one of these suckers. One single shot to the head is going to put an end to any of them. So, in the zombie apocalypse, guns are going to be your best friend.
But... do remember that this is the zombie apocalypse and after while, if you happen to survive long enough, your ammo supply is going to be nil and quickly if you use your gun(s) on a constant basis.
But there are weapons, however, that have a much long shelf-life than pistols and shotguns. And those are....
2. Blunt Objects
Baseball bats, golf clubs, frying pans, electric guitars. Anything that's solid and as a fair amount of weight to it could be used to bust a zombie's dome wide open.
Now, over time, certain types of these weapons will give out. Like a wooden baseball bat or the before mentioned electric guitar. So something made out of metal is much more preferable. Like a cast iron frying pan or a metal baseball bat or a machete or something to that effect. Of course, these should only be used as a last measure instead of your primary weapon. Because, well, let's face it... you are no Justin Miller.
Speaking of machete's, that gives me a nice little bridge to the next type of weapons we are going to discuss....
3. Knives
Most knives, like a butcher knife or a hunting knife, won't provide you much help against a zombie seeing as how you have to get up close and personal with your zombie corpse to end his life. But knives are always handy to keep around.
However, if you are lucky enough to find a machete or a sword, hold onto it! These can be swung with both hands and allow you some kind of safe distance between you and the zombie that wishes to turn you into a manwhich.
So knives, while awesome indeed, should only be used for the cases when you have a zombie right on top of you.
Of course, anything could be used as a weapon. Those that don't really fit into the three above categories fall under this one....
4. Other Crap a.k.a Miscellaneous Weapons
The chainsaw in your garage, the toaster on your counter or the stapler in your desk. Anything that can cause physical damage to you can cause physical damage to a zombie and should be highly considered if you can't find a gun or a blunt object.
Usually, these are gonna be normal household appliances and stuff that is lying about in and around your house. And if you happen to find yourself attacked by a zombie, these are gonna be what you grab at first.
Now, class, our first lesson has come to an end and I don't expect many of you back. With hordes of zombies marching about, I wouldn't be surprised if I just teaching myself next time. But if some of you do make it, I'll teach you how to get rid of mass hordes of zombies.
CLASS DISMISSED!
