My Own Hell

[Sam Walker]

A loud gasp escaped the man's mouth, inhaling all of a sudden as he tried to catch his breath. Wide, startled blue eyes blinked, vision blurred as the man came too. He'd been laying in this bed for seven weeks. Seven long weeks, whilst the world continued on without him. The man lay perfectly still, blinking simultaneously as he tried to rid himself of blurred vision. He was laying down, peering up at the white tiled ceiling above him. He couldn't hear anything, just a dull beeping sound in the background with his surroundings but nothing more.

His throat felt dry, his body ached as he continued to lay there trying to come to grips with what had happened. The man blinked a few times, releasing tears from his eyes that gently rolled against his cheeks. He was awake now, seven weeks of being in a coma and he was finally awake. Of course, the man had no idea where he was or how on earth he'd gotten here. In fact, he wasn't really sure of anything right now.

Several moments passed before the blurred vision subsided. Sam's breathing steadied as he finally caught his breath. Letting his head roll to the left of him, his blue gaze narrowed on the side table next to his bed. The side table was covered in get well cards. Sam inhaled sharply, turning his head to the right to see himself hooked up to a ventilator. The man furrowed his brows, scanning the motor with his eyes to view his vitals...he was doing find. Once more drawing his eyes to the ceiling the man breathed deeply.

Sam let his hands curl the shits around him, gripping them tightly for a moment as he began to get the feeling back in his arms. His legs were numb right now, with no surprise since they hadn't been used for seven weeks and everything had begun to stiffen up. His mobility would be hindered for a little while, how long? no one could say, least of all Sam who still had no idea how long he'd been here.

Slowly the man began to sit up, he groaned in agony as he felt his body awaken. There was a dull aching that throbbed down the man's spine, sending a shooting pain in each leg. He grit his teeth to bare the pain as he finally managed to sit up. His back flopped against the raised pillows and headboard of his hospital bed. He'd sat up, that was already some progress. Once more, his legs still felt numb and the man was unable to move his toes. He ran his hands down the sheets and ripped them back seeing his legs just laying there in front of him...but he couldn't feel a damn thing.

This was weird, difficult and because of that the man began to get impatient. He prodded at his legs, and still felt nothing. He continued to do so, getting harsher each time before erratically pounding his fists against his legs hoping that he'd feel it. He didn't. Sam became distraught, the idea of never walking again surely didn't settle well with him. The man buried his hands in his face and wept a little, this was unbelievable. Once dropping his hands from his face, he pulled the cord next to his bed and began shouting for a nurse...he couldn't move, he had no idea what the hell was going on and he wanted answers.

Sams eyes narrowed to his door, no nurse came. He figured they were probably busy, so he gave it another shot, calling out once more only to be ignored again. He furrowed his brows, shaking his head some as he did. He'd have to go find his own help, because this wasn't getting him anywhere. The man sat up again, using his hands to try and lift his weight so he could turn sideways and climb off the bed himself. It took three attempts before he finally managed to pivot his body around, now letting his legs hang over the bed and his body face the window where the blinds were still down.

A little light beamed through the gaps in the blinds in front of him. His eyes scanned the side table again, no longer focusing on the cards but the framed photo that sat amongst them. Sam leant forward and picked it up. He held the photo in front of himself, letting his eyes fixate on the image, his hand gently grazing the glass as a sad smile enveloped his mouth. His family, his son, his daughter, his wife and he.

Sam closed his eyes tightly, he'd missed them a whole lot. He wished they were here right now, to see him awake like this...but they weren't. He was grateful to be awake because of them. Sam stared at the picture for a few moments, before realising that he couldn't remember anything about his family. He recognised there faces but...he wasn't sure who they were. This hit him like a tonne of bricks, he dropped the photo on the floor, the glass smashing as it hit the ground.

Now that he thought about it...he couldn't remember much at all. What day was it? What month?..What year? How did he get here? How long had he been here?....What was his name? The shock set the man into a frenzy. He no longer cared that he couldn't move his toes, that didn't stop him leaping up off the bed only to find himself face down on the ground when his legs turned to jelly. He hit the ground with a heavy thud. Upon landing he didn't bother trying to move, instead he just lay there, letting a loud wail escape his lips. He couldn't remember any specific details about himself or his life. He recognised faces, slight meanings to the relationship he held with those he recognised but nothing more....